Trying It On Isn't the Same as Choosing It Forever
- Patricia Ezechie
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
When Possibility Starts to Feel Like Pressure
One of the things I've noticed over many years of coaching is that there comes a point in the converastion where everything opens up.
We've spent time making sense of what's no longer working.
We've untangled some of the assumptions that have quietly built up over the years. We've begun reconnecting with what matters.
We've rediscovered strengths that have been overlooked.
We've unearthed values that have become buried beneath responsibility, and parts of ourselves that have gradually become quieter are being heard again.
Someone says, almost tentatively,
"I've always wondered what it might be like to..."
Or,
"I've been curious about..."
Or perhaps,
"I don't know why, but this keeps coming back to me..."
It's one of my favourite moments.
Possibility has entered the conversation, and that changes everything.
It creates space and reminds us that our lives may not be as fixed as we once thought.
The problem is that almost as quickly as possibility appears, something else arrives too.
Pressure.
Not because anything has actually changed. But because, almost without noticing, we start treating every possibility as though it's already a decision.
If I explore this, does it mean I have to leave my job?
If I apply, does that mean I've decided to go?
If I have that conversation, what will people think?
What if I discover I want something different?
And perhaps the biggest question of all...
What if I change my mind?
It's fascinating how quickly curiosity can become pressure.
What a Changing Room Can Teach Us About Careers
This week I found myself wondering why we do that.
Because we don't behave like this in other parts of our lives.
Imagine walking into a clothes shop, a jacket catches your eye, and you take it into the changing room to try it on.
You try it on to discover something.
Does it fit?
Does it not fit?
Does it suit you?
Does it not suit you?
Does it feel like you?
Does it not feel like you?
Sometimes you discover exactly what you expected.
Sometimes you're completely surprised.
Perhaps you even picked up a colour you would normally walk past, beacuse you realise you rather like it.
Or it's the jacket you were convinced would be perfect that turns out not to be you at all.
That's the whole point.
Trying it on isn't the commitment.
It's simply how you discover whether it's something you actually want.
Why We Mistake Exploration for Commitment
Now imagine if we treated clothes the way we treat our careers.
Imagine believing that the moment you tried the jacket on, you'd already committed to buying it.
Ridiculous, right?
Yet that's exactly what so many of us do with work.
We hesitate to have one conversation.
To explore one opportunity.
To take one short course.
To shadow somebody for a day.
To apply for a role simply to see how it feels.
To say yes to something we've never done before, or even to admit to ourselves that we're curious.
Not because we've decided to make a change, but because we've started treating exploration as though it were a commitment. As though curiousity is a contract. As though becoming interested in something means we've already decided. And that's such a heavy burden to place on curiousity.
Because curiousity was never asking us to decide.
It was simply inviting us to explore.
Experiments Create a Different Kind of Clarity
That's one of the reasons I talk so much about experiments. Not because experiments are small decisions, but because they're not decisions at all.
They're ways of gathering evidence. They're ways of replacing assumptions with lived experience.
They're conversations.
Projects.
Applications.
Courses.
Volunteering.
Shadowing.
Saying no where once you would have said yes.
Speaking up where once you stayed quiet.
None of those things lock us into a future. They simply give us another piece of evidence. Another piece of reality. Another opportunity to discover something we couldn't have known by thinking alone.
And I think that's where something else begins to return as well: agency.
Not because we suddenly have everything under control, but because we've stopped standing on the sidelines of our own lives waiting for certainty to arrive. We're participating. We're gathering evidence. We're discovering what fits instead of trying to predict it. And that feels very different because agency rarely appears all at once. It grows each time we engage with reality rather than remaining trapped in imagined futures.
Trying Something On Doesn't Lock You In
And that's why experiments matter so much.
Not because they tell us exactly what to do.
Because they change our relationship with uncertainty.
Instead of asking us to predict the future, they invite us to gather evidence.
Instead of asking us to decide who we'll become, they help us discover what fits.
What energises us and drains us. What feels like an expression of who we are, and what doesn't. That's why I've come to believe that trying something doesn't lock us in. It helps us find out. Not once and for all, but just enough to take the next thoughtful step. And maybe that's all meaningful change has ever really asked of us.
Not certainty.
Not perfect timing.
Not one life-defining decision.
Just the willingness to walk into the changing room, try something on, and notice what we learn.
Listen to this week's podcast
This article was inspired by Episode 21 of Proactive Empowered Careers® Podcast.
In this episode, we explore why experiments create a different kind of clarity from thinking alone, how participation gradually restores agency, and why trying something isn't the same as committing to it forever.
🎧 Listen to Episode 21: Experiments, Not Life Decisions
Comments