The Power of Permission — Why Midlife Is the Time to Say Yes to Yourself

When was the last time you gave yourself permission?

Not the polite kind — the quiet “I suppose it’s okay if…” — but full, unapologetic, wholehearted permission to want what you want.

For many of us in midlife, permission is the missing ingredient.

We’ve spent decades earning, proving, and pleasing. We’ve ticked the boxes, kept the peace, and carried the load. Somewhere along the way we learned that our worth was measured by what we gave to everyone else.

So when the whisper begins — “I want something different” — it can feel almost rebellious.

Why permission in midlife matters

Without permission, there’s no change.

You can gather all the coaching tools, spreadsheets, and career plans in the world — but until you allow yourself to want more, you’ll keep circling the same ground.

I see it every day in my coaching practice. Brilliant women with decades of experience who say, “I can’t possibly start over now.” Or “I should just be grateful.”

But permission isn’t about throwing away what you’ve built; it’s about recognising that you’ve outgrown parts of it. It’s about releasing the old rules and writing new ones that fit who you are now.

You don’t need the world’s approval to change.

You just need your own.

The invisible contracts we carry

Most of us are living under invisible contracts.

Unspoken agreements we never actually signed.

Contracts like:

• “I must always be reliable.”

• “I can’t let people down.”

• “I should stay where I’m comfortable.”

• “Success means staying at the top, not starting over.”

  
  

These contracts were written in our twenties and thirties — shaped by parents, workplaces, partners, or cultural expectations. They may have served us then, but don't anymore and midlife is the time for renegotiation.

The problem is, we rarely pause to read the fine print. We just keep renewing the same outdated terms, even when they’re costing us our wellbeing.

Permission is the act of rewriting those contracts.

What permission really looks like

It’s not a grand announcement.

It’s subtle and often private.

It might sound like:

• “I’m allowed to change my mind.”

• “I’m allowed to stop pretending this fits.”

• “I’m allowed to choose ease over hustle.”

• “I’m allowed to build something that nourishes me.”

  
  

Permission begins in whispers but ends in transformation.

When you grant yourself permission, everything shifts — your energy, your confidence, your relationships. You stop asking for validation and start leading your own life again.

Midlife as the turning point

Midlife isn’t about reinvention for reinvention’s sake. It’s about remembering.

Remembering who you were before life got so full of everyone else’s expectations.

At this stage, we’ve proved what we needed to prove.

Now the invitation is different: to create from a place of authenticity, alignment, and joy.

That’s why permission matters more than ever. Because permission is freedom — freedom to make the next chapter truly yours.

The fear behind the “shoulds”

Every “should” is fear in disguise.

Fear of being judged, fear of failing, fear of letting people down.

But fear loses power the moment you bring it into the light.

Write down your “shoulds.”

Speak them out loud.

Then ask,

“Who says?”

You’ll be amazed how quickly those rules crumble.

One client of mine kept saying, “I should stay in this role until I retire.”

When she examined this "should", she realised no one had ever actually told her that. It was a story she’d inherited and never questioned. Once she gave herself permission to explore what she really wanted, she launched a consultancy she now loves.

Giving yourself permission doesn’t mean doing it alone

It’s not about abandoning responsibilities or making reckless leaps.

It’s about creating a supported environment where you can explore what’s next — with guidance, structure, and community.

That’s why I created Creating the Career You Want™.

It’s not about forcing change; it’s about nurturing the courage to give yourself permission and act on it.

Because once you say yes to yourself, everything else follows.

Start small

If you’re reading this wondering where to begin, start with one simple question:

“What do I need to give myself permission for today?”

Maybe it’s permission to rest.

Maybe it’s permission to ask for help.

Maybe it’s permission to stop tolerating what no longer works.

Write it down. Say it out loud.

Then take one small step in that direction.

Permission isn’t a one-time event — it’s a daily practice.

And every act of permission expands what’s possible next.

What would change if you gave yourself permission to want more?

💌Join Creating the Career You Want™ — the program that helps you give yourself permission to build what’s next.”